The Not Thinking

I was not this person. I had spent the last two years and a half trying as hard as I could not to be this person. Trying not to think about [it] at all. Because whenever I did think about [it], I felt this awful mix of rage and confusion and longing and sadness and insecurity burning my stomach. So I had just…put it aside. I’d just not let myself go there. And I’d become so good at it– the not thinking. So good that I’d actually been able to fool the world into believing I was a perfectly normal, well-adjusted, happy human being. I’d even kind of convinced myself.

— He’s So Not Worth It by Kieran Scott (Edits a few parts done by me)